As I sit outside on my backyard patio, umbrella up to block the sun for which I have not seen in weeks due to this horrible weather we have been having, my brain is stirring with thoughts and ideas. These thoughts and ideas that have been driving me crazy for the past couple weeks and are now in full force attack. They are holding me hostage with a high ransom. I need a high skilled negotiator to free me from them.

That high skilled negotiator is either a job, or a crazy idea that will be the basis for starting my own company.

These thoughts and ideas are slowly turning into panic. Panic is one mode I do not need or want to be in. I need to free me from them fast, but I don't know what else to do right now. Stumped...

It is not like I haven't been trying to find a job, I have, and I have been doing so every minute of the day since I was laid off. With what I know and with everything I have done, I feel I would be a great person to have been swooped up by a company by now, but with the stupid state of the country right now, you either have to be a rocket scientist, or a brain surgeon to let us say be a fry cook at McDonald's.

Some Thoughts: What to do? What am I doing? What will the future bring? Why haven't I gotten a job yet?

Some Ideas: Start a consulting company. Design a product. Learn to code my own web application. Sell blood.

Those are just a few, but there are tons more of each.

As I'm writing this, and swatting a lightning bug that just landed on my laptop, my mind is starting up again.

I cannot stop this from happening lately:

Am I looking in the wrong direction? Do my skills equal zero? Is it my fault that I have worked for companies in the past that have given me multiple job tasks that my experience in just one is minor? Do I smell?

I don't know these answers, and that is what is haunting me.

If you are a skilled negotiator, please help, I beg you!!!

Thanks.